(no subject)

I spent a fotune in tickets for Large Gay Dance Events this weekend to come to the conclusion that I have changed: I still love dancing to good thumping music, but I do not love it enough any more to make up for dancing alone when everyone around me is in happy touchy groups and the floor is overpacked. Basically, my Black Party worked because jeffinthebox and his friends were so generous and there was so much space on the floor. I have had a great time meeting up with friends this weekend and hanging out with them, but the dances simply did not work for me. I am too old, too sober, too impatient, and too invisible in the Pecs&Tats crowd for me to happen. And I don't wait for the party any more, I am the party, and the party's back hurt after a day at the Folsom fair, and the party looked around, dancing in his boots and underwear and not connecting to the mood, and said fuck it, time to sleep and have a great breakfast with a friend without feeling crappy tomorrow morning.

I have a whole post in me about learing to do things alone, why I never go out, wanting a posse, superfriends, growing up homo lonely, and what I want. Ping me in a week if you are interested, because right now what is in my head about it is unreadably dreary.

(no subject)

It was nice to be out of LA for 3 days. Especially since I caused a three car bump-up on Thursday. I was going 5 miles an hour in slow traffic on the 110 right before downtown, looked over my shoulder to see if there was an opening in the high-speed traffic on the highway merging into ours, and the car in front of me turned out to have stopped. I can't look in both directions at the same time. The car I bumped into kept rolling for 20 yards while I stopped on the spot, and kept going so long I wondered if the driver was trying to ignore what was clearly an accident. It came to a full stop by bumping into the SUV in front of it.

Progressive has already been by to take picture. The rollerskate is driveable, the front fender and absorbers need to be replaced, and most likely it will not even get over my deductible. But still, I have been dealing with fucking LA and all the fucking driving since April, and this really made me need a break. I walked around in SF a lot, as I always do. I love visiting here. I do not think I could live here without having no space or endless commute or both, but it is a wonderful holiday.

I got to see vasilatos, and have dinner with epilady,chestertodd, dr_memory (who turned out to remember me from my motss days, fergawdsakes), missionista, and one more wholse LJ name I do not know. Had a blast that afternoon at the [ Big | College ] Muscle [ Bears ] evemt with otterpop58 and jeffla and everyoen else because we could talk and listen and hang.

I walked more Sunday, constantly, seeing the fair through three different sets of eyes, first hanging in a group with two femmes including the 'HOT'-sticker sticking chitinous and a straight boy, then meeting the indescribably amazingly looking epilady, geeting to fulfill my fantasy of doing a shoot on her, if even only for minutes, and seeing how the crowd reacted to her, and then being introduced to 7 million furry men by hanging with otterpop58 and Joel. Tag along with that man, he will make you feel A-list.

So yes, on my feet for hours and hours and hours on end. pinkfish and his massaging hands will have their work cut out for them.