I Can't be The Only One

You know, I actually do have developed musical tastes in pop. And I have never watched a single episode of The Laguna Hills of County. But after reading about Heidi Montag's stupid, and stupidly successful, exploits of self-promotion on Dlisted, I kinda excitedly grab my headphones every time the editor posts another link to one of her songs.

Because they are such Awesomely Well Made Awesomely Bad Pop. The central part of a pop song, the voice, is so useless in Montag's case that every trick is pulled out to make it, well, we can't call it 'work', so let's call it 'lounge around successfully'. Doubling, tripling, pitch correction so blatant it goes into pure robo-voice territory, quadrupling that robo-voice as backing vocals again, rip-off Timbaland productions, and lyrics so awesomely bad the whole thing is trying to pass off being a dumb falling-over drunk ready to go get banged by some frat douche as a sexy almost-mystically sensual mature experience.

I listen to it on repaeat three times, my mouth hanging open some production team would try to sell something that is the music equivalent of an overproduced SNL skit about Britney for reals. Yet they do.

I'm in love. Someone please tell me Fashion is being remixed for a Homo Shirtless Streetfair Dance Party.