You Know, Just Because Us White Folk Do It Doesn't Make It A Terrible Idea.

We’ve known him for almost six years. We celebrated with him and his partner — a Black gay couple — when they adopted their son after several disappointments, and we celebrated their wedding with them. Two years ago his husband —an apparently healthy man — collapsed at work, and was rushed to the hospital. Our friend arrived at the hospital only to be told that without proof of their relationship he could not see his husband or receive any information about his husband’s condition.

Without knowing what was wrong, or whether his husband would survive until he got back, he drove home, retrieved their legal documents, returned to the hospital and was allowed to see his husband, with enough to say goodbye.

I told that story to our white, heterosexual neighbor. She shared with me what happened when her husband was rushed to the hospital. She said she arrived at the hospital and said three words: “I’m his wife.” She got three words in response: “Right this way.”

From "Marriage Matters To Us", a post on the blog "The Republic of T."

For days now I have been reading how Equality in Marriage is just a plaything for 'white rich gay boys to further their financial and social privilege'. It just doesn't register with me why this makes being able to pool your legal protections and financials in ways that keep your family safe during bad times such a bad idea that is not worth fighting for. I'd instead say it is proof the concept would work great for everyone. If the access to marriage rights would make us gay white boys so much stronger, don't you think being able to legally protect and pool would make your couplehood stronger too? I was pointed to a blog post that seems to agree.

I've been coupled, having to jump through hoops and shell out money to recreate a semblance, a smidgen, of these protections while I lived in the US. I am now single. I can tell you I was in way better shape to deal with contingencies^*, and had a better standard of living, when I was coupled and somewhat protected, but that was because we had the money to pay people to get us as close as we could, being 'rich' white gay 'boys'. Members of societal minorities who sneer at my wish to have had formalized my former couplehood on equal footing with mixed-gender couples because it would have made us stronger and better able to withstand the waves of society while being white and male (and gay), just strike me as suffering from Bucket Of Crabs Syndrome. There are real problems with the concept of marriage. That it favors people who get married, and that many of them happen to be affluent, white, and male, aren't two of them.

Edit: ^* Yesterday I had to fill in 'Next of Kin' on my medical intake form. The legally truthfully closest one is a large body of water and a country-border, a culture, and a language barrier away.