(no subject)
Sep. 19th, 2006 11:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fjI am a little worried about my career. I have stepped out of my comfort zone.
I say I was trained as a UI Designer, but actually, my 4-year thesis-capped degree at the Vrije Universiteit was formally in "Software Engineering, Human Interaction Variant". Which means that, besides some classes in Human-Machine Interaction, I also got a good theoretical education in the process of creating large programs, and the internship for the thesis happened to be doing a major reorganization of a C windowing library. (where I learned that C was so primitive you have to allocate memory for strings. Yes, when I cut my teeth, I cut them good. The pretty colors of the buffer overflows in X windows were a colorful joy to behold.)
Before I joined Disney, my work has always been hardcore software creation. Yes, I did actually get to specialize in creating UIs, but it was always 20% design, 80% having to actually implement them. I know about programming environments, debuggers, core-dumps, watch points, refactoring, code-inspections. I have used uber-leet code visualizers from SGIs original Workbench to Eclipse down to stepping line by line in gdb down to having only printfs. (Especially when coding for mobile devices it seems that the more cutting edge the phone, the more primitive the tools for debugging.)
What I am saying is, I had chops. Good chops.Big or smal systems, I could handle it. From Children's Hospital on, I had a rep for not bloody stopping until it damn well worked. (I also had a rep for being sloppy and always needing a good QA team to slap my hand. Hi Mike! Hi Amy!) And that is job security. I could have gone on for the next three decades just doing mercenary contract work. Stable and always in demand, with an ever growing list of tech and problems solved.
And hating it. Being a Software Engineer is intellectually satisfying, but as the years went on, to me it was only satisfying in the same way solving the NYT Crossword is: you do it, you feel all great, and next week there's another one. I kept solving the same problems, and every year thinking, ya know, this isn't really what I want to do. I actually went into this side of computing because I liked the pretty colors and shapes and and lovely typography. I went into UIs because this was the closest to visual beauty a guy with no graphic talent could get. I am dissapointed I never broke into the Information Visualization field, but if I had, most of my time would have been coding tools instead of getting to use them and find interesting patterns in data. I always liked using tools more than creating them. I like assembling experiences from beautiful pieces, not having to handcrank them together. This difference may not make sense to many coders, but this is the best I can articulate it.
So yes, even as a Research Engineer, I was always spending more time creating the software for the back-end more than I got to create environments. The best time I had at Nokia was when it was just me and a very stable and well thought-out tool to create websites with, with which I tried to make these totally automated open friendly systems where users could put their stuff up with the least possible effort. I was managing hosters in Helsinki, talking to my manager in Boston about policies and procedures, and assembling it all together with tiny amounts of scripting and many pieces lay-out and colors and specifying flows. I had such fun in that gig. Nokia has been nothing but good to me, but the circumstances, both location and growth, were not in place for me to both continue with that project and be happy.
And then I got recruited for this Disney Mobile future services gig. And now there's no Software Engineering. None. The job morphed into a total idea-generation job. I did do one demo in FlashLite, but that was, in all, 20 lines of code. I am not an architect. I am not a coder. I am not a Software Engineer anymore. I have left that security. I am now an idea guy, an opinions guy, a presentations guy. I work with Imagineers and Illustrators and Animators and Graphic Designers to step through scenarios and visualize our thoughts, I sit in on meetings of Product and BizDev division to know what is happening on the ground as I and other groups help develop the future.
I am kind of scared, I fear that one year of this and I will have no cred in the field that would always be there to pay the bills. Software ENgineering changes so fast if you want to stay in the interesting bits. Yes, I am over-scared, it will not be that bad should I choose to return, but what if I don't want to? Where do guys like me go? I am off the beaten path and on a road I have no idea how to travel. And, although I wanted to leave the hardcore coding, and worked to do so, it actually happened before I knew it.
Oh wow. I'd better make this work.
I say I was trained as a UI Designer, but actually, my 4-year thesis-capped degree at the Vrije Universiteit was formally in "Software Engineering, Human Interaction Variant". Which means that, besides some classes in Human-Machine Interaction, I also got a good theoretical education in the process of creating large programs, and the internship for the thesis happened to be doing a major reorganization of a C windowing library. (where I learned that C was so primitive you have to allocate memory for strings. Yes, when I cut my teeth, I cut them good. The pretty colors of the buffer overflows in X windows were a colorful joy to behold.)
Before I joined Disney, my work has always been hardcore software creation. Yes, I did actually get to specialize in creating UIs, but it was always 20% design, 80% having to actually implement them. I know about programming environments, debuggers, core-dumps, watch points, refactoring, code-inspections. I have used uber-leet code visualizers from SGIs original Workbench to Eclipse down to stepping line by line in gdb down to having only printfs. (Especially when coding for mobile devices it seems that the more cutting edge the phone, the more primitive the tools for debugging.)
What I am saying is, I had chops. Good chops.Big or smal systems, I could handle it. From Children's Hospital on, I had a rep for not bloody stopping until it damn well worked. (I also had a rep for being sloppy and always needing a good QA team to slap my hand. Hi Mike! Hi Amy!) And that is job security. I could have gone on for the next three decades just doing mercenary contract work. Stable and always in demand, with an ever growing list of tech and problems solved.
And hating it. Being a Software Engineer is intellectually satisfying, but as the years went on, to me it was only satisfying in the same way solving the NYT Crossword is: you do it, you feel all great, and next week there's another one. I kept solving the same problems, and every year thinking, ya know, this isn't really what I want to do. I actually went into this side of computing because I liked the pretty colors and shapes and and lovely typography. I went into UIs because this was the closest to visual beauty a guy with no graphic talent could get. I am dissapointed I never broke into the Information Visualization field, but if I had, most of my time would have been coding tools instead of getting to use them and find interesting patterns in data. I always liked using tools more than creating them. I like assembling experiences from beautiful pieces, not having to handcrank them together. This difference may not make sense to many coders, but this is the best I can articulate it.
So yes, even as a Research Engineer, I was always spending more time creating the software for the back-end more than I got to create environments. The best time I had at Nokia was when it was just me and a very stable and well thought-out tool to create websites with, with which I tried to make these totally automated open friendly systems where users could put their stuff up with the least possible effort. I was managing hosters in Helsinki, talking to my manager in Boston about policies and procedures, and assembling it all together with tiny amounts of scripting and many pieces lay-out and colors and specifying flows. I had such fun in that gig. Nokia has been nothing but good to me, but the circumstances, both location and growth, were not in place for me to both continue with that project and be happy.
And then I got recruited for this Disney Mobile future services gig. And now there's no Software Engineering. None. The job morphed into a total idea-generation job. I did do one demo in FlashLite, but that was, in all, 20 lines of code. I am not an architect. I am not a coder. I am not a Software Engineer anymore. I have left that security. I am now an idea guy, an opinions guy, a presentations guy. I work with Imagineers and Illustrators and Animators and Graphic Designers to step through scenarios and visualize our thoughts, I sit in on meetings of Product and BizDev division to know what is happening on the ground as I and other groups help develop the future.
I am kind of scared, I fear that one year of this and I will have no cred in the field that would always be there to pay the bills. Software ENgineering changes so fast if you want to stay in the interesting bits. Yes, I am over-scared, it will not be that bad should I choose to return, but what if I don't want to? Where do guys like me go? I am off the beaten path and on a road I have no idea how to travel. And, although I wanted to leave the hardcore coding, and worked to do so, it actually happened before I knew it.
Oh wow. I'd better make this work.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 07:25 am (UTC)Are you worried about being stuck doing Crystal Reports type shit or is it that being away from software engineering will blitz your skillset?
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 07:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 08:25 pm (UTC)Are you scared that you're going to be passed over for jobs because you (resume or skill wise) weren't programming and are going to be pidgeon-holed as a handwaving idea man who lost touch with tech? Or is it because you're losing contact with the cool kids doing the glossiest snazziest new things and won't have access to the sexiest new projects and companies?
err... *think* I can't ask the question correctly. Let's try one more time. Are you looking to stay in interesting new computation technology, interesting new practical uses of technology, or interesting sexy companies that are moving ahead and have the culture to match? I don't understand what you're losing access to because all of your jobs seem pretty razzledazzle from the sidelines.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 08:37 pm (UTC)If you do not remain with your skillset on the bleeding edge, even these jobs are hard to get at the level I was at once the idea thing stops working out and I need to go back to code. I will hand in a resume that says "Last used a curly bracket 6 years ago" and I will simply not look as good as a recent grad. All I have over them now is that my experience gives me higher productivity and greater ease staying at the crest of the wave. The break will reset that to the same level, and then I will lose.
So yes, I fear losing access to at least the interesting jobs, but also getting the non-interesting gouge-my-eyes-out SE jobs will be hard to get.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 07:26 am (UTC);->>>
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 07:06 pm (UTC)Keep reading. I am human.
"I am human."
Date: 2006-09-20 07:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 10:25 am (UTC)I'd like to do what you're doing I think.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 10:39 am (UTC)in my latest adventure, i left an extremely secure job where i was comfortable, i liked the people, and the work was fine. i was so unbelievably bored and frustrated, though. i just left. i likened it to stepping off the edge of the abyss in the fog. and like you, someone out of the blue came calling. or they came calling and i didn't listen for a long time. but now i'm working at a job i like, doing work that's far more invigorating, on a schedule i love. and it's all so unstable, it's laughable, but i hardly care.
and btw, i feel the same way you do about C, which I learned after I learned Lisp. I used to say that C allows you to shoot yourself in the foot and it gives you all the ammunition you need and more.
Hang in there and enjoy.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 12:28 pm (UTC)As an aside, how long do you spend writing, editing and assembling your posts? I admire your ability to coherently describe an event or series of thoughts without stretching on into multiple pages. I'd like to do more of this myself, but find that it takes an inordinate amount of time to do so... do you have a process, are you just good at it, or do you spend an hour or two as well?
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 02:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 07:05 pm (UTC)neither side makes sense by itself, or can really be ranked. I have seen the stupidest ideas be sent over by 'Idea People' who thought they were too important to realize that it could never be made to work economically, or no customer actually cared.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 07:08 pm (UTC)In my previous post, I moved from technical work to "ideas." I loved the latter, and found that my experience in the former allowed me to have much more realistic notions of what was feasible, helped me vet ideas and veto others, and could also help with scoping projects. It's the people who wholly lack in one of the arenas, yet have impact in them, who are dangerous.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 07:34 pm (UTC)A wise man named Condor once said "JD, right now the bull has you. You have to turn it around and get it." :P
I'm confident that you'll get a handle on this.
You put yourself out there for a reason. You are comprised of all the right qualities to make this work.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 10:51 pm (UTC)The job morphed into a total idea-generation job.
Date: 2006-09-21 02:41 am (UTC)those who stayed are now "idea people" working in flash, doing 5 to 10 year out work, creating mind share. those who stayed are bright, funny, articulate good looking, creative and interesting folks who can code like there's no tomorrow _and_ charm the pants off of you at a cocktail party.
those who didn't stay are now in "little r, Big D" r&D and have little to no control over their project's direction, or funding or future. sure, they know the latest curly brackets, but that's not where the game is.
don't worry about your street cred, being at disney is an asset to your resume.
the game is with dynamic, smart interesting folks like yourself. the ones who make hello kitty laptops and take wonderful cam phone pics.
the game is with people like you who can understand the customer need today and tomorrow along with the latest curly bracket language, the advantage it has over the last one... and be able to put it all together into a single package and a clear vision (in flash or whatever) ... the game is to take all the technology and all the passion , and all the people and the ideas and have fun, and make sense at the same time. that's a rare breed fj!!
an articulate engineer.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 02:54 am (UTC)Seeing that the fear I feel, the self-consciousness even, is equally shared.
It's a thing I have that I don't care to be unique and am glad is universal.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-23 12:23 pm (UTC)