I May Sound Obsessed But...

[fj]

Every time I see an Avril Lavigne video, she scares the crap out of me. If I were straight and she slid up to me anywhere, I would run away screaming, hands in the air, leaving Straight-FJ shaped holes in the wall, scared of even the remotest prospect it would lead to me having to break up with her one day. She looks like a terrible breaker-upper. Beyond boiled-bunny bad. Whoever she hooks up with is gonna stay with her three years after he has wanted to escape, out of sheer terror of what she will do if he leaves.

Comments

[bratman.livejournal.com]

I think you should be in a three-way with Avril Lavigne and Fiona Apple.

[phornax.livejournal.com]

Pink Mystery! Yay!

[stealthpup.livejournal.com]

What? No Sheryl Crow?

[fj.livejournal.com]

She doesn't scare me.

[stealthpup.livejournal.com]

How about Lopping Shears™?

[ex-juandave.livejournal.com]

She does the same thing in every video.

Which is sit up high on a counter or something and jump down from it looking pissed off and stomp away.

[danger-chick.livejournal.com]

I think it's her teeth. She always looks like she is about to take a bite out of someone's fleshy thigh.

[pinkfish.livejournal.com]

Either that, or she just did.

[vasilatos]

I would crush her. With glee.
And I like her. She's like me!

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

Ah, the joys of not owning a television!

[fj.livejournal.com]

You will be defenseless when she hits NYC, for you will not recognize the danger.

[feste-sylvain.livejournal.com]

She's a Canuck. With attitude. There aren't many Canucks with attitude, so they don't have any templates and they have to wing it on their own.

All you have to understand about dumping a Canuck is that, if you have to do it in the winter, make sure you have someone to pass them on to. Sleeping alone in a Canadian winter will make anybody cling to another warm body.

This also explains Russians.

[lilbjorn.livejournal.com]

Two words: Celine Dion

[fj.livejournal.com]

I could see myself passing Avril on to Celine.

I think they'd try to eat each other, and not in a lesbian way.

[lilbjorn.livejournal.com]

Celine Dion

[italiangm.livejournal.com]

She tried wearing a lace shawl and slomo spinning, but Stevie Nicks won an injunction.

[malte.livejournal.com]

*tries to visualise fj as skaterboi-turned-rock-star*

No, I don't think she'll be sliding up to you anytime soon.

[phornax.livejournal.com]

fj isn't into Nicole Richie, either.