(no subject)
Aug. 12th, 2007 11:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fjI should blog my sushi adventure, and being at a BBQ the next day where I met kids rumored to be the posse of people Lindsay Lohan was partying with the night she recently completely flamed out, but it is too much work to write it all to do it justice, especially the sushi part (Hama, in Venice, where we didn't order anything but told the chef in front of us at the bar what we liked and then had her take us on a trip. I have eaten things there I thought I never would.)
Instead, I keep thinking, as I have today, about how deceptive blogging can be if it is used as a public diary. Here you go, reading one entry after another about this and that, getting some idea about the life the writer leads, a little insight in how s/he thinks, then maybe a few days silence, and then it's "Dear LJ, I am fine but I am in rehab" or "Hey guys, we're splitting up after 13 years." (Yes, I guess I am admitting I am guilty of that too, although in my defense I have to say that, although there were issues, the split was a little on the unexpected side in this quarter. In my offense,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jpeace is right when he says my public persona here is very strictly managed. But it is not to make me look good, it is to not bore you that I so carefully select what I write. Because if it bores you, imagine what it is like for me to have to write it, and proof-read it about 3 times.)
So when people discuss the little fights or problems or disagreements or hang-over or crying jags, the writers know they are opening themselves up to comments about being exhibitionists. Maybe it can be argued that some of it is, that the writing leaves an aftertaste of trolling for comments or not wanting comments but convey suffering, that validation will only be valued if it is offered in the form of adoration of some kind. I have been there in all forms, I am a vain man with fragile pieces to his ego. I understand wanting comments and not wanting comments in all forms.
But whatever gets said about people who blog their minutiae honestly -- well, not so much minute to minute but more the small troubles and tribulations -- at least they don't leave you wondering as a reader "Man, did I know you at all?" when the Big Event gets announced, "Here you are telling me about the subway lines for months and it turns out that for the same amount of time you were being stalked by a convicted felon?"
But writers should only care about that surprise coming up in their readers if their explicit intention was to let people to get to know them intimately, because the aforementioned question coming up means the writer is not writing effectively. For anyone who is just here to vent or comment on their own lives or write to remember noteworthy things or explore other characters or any other reason people LJ, surprising your readers by not building up to major breaks in your life shouldn't be an issue at all. Just because you post here doesn't mean any reader has a right to know anything about you, including that you are leading what could be termed a double life.
I keep needing to remind myself of that when some denoument happens, that as a reader I have 0 right to feel super surprised or even slightly betrayed. If I feel involved for just reading entries -- not by getting sucked into some months long commenting dialog that looks like an Internet game, that is a whole other level, but just reading entries -- that is my own creation. At most, when the shit hits the fan, I get to be supportive.
Instead, I keep thinking, as I have today, about how deceptive blogging can be if it is used as a public diary. Here you go, reading one entry after another about this and that, getting some idea about the life the writer leads, a little insight in how s/he thinks, then maybe a few days silence, and then it's "Dear LJ, I am fine but I am in rehab" or "Hey guys, we're splitting up after 13 years." (Yes, I guess I am admitting I am guilty of that too, although in my defense I have to say that, although there were issues, the split was a little on the unexpected side in this quarter. In my offense,
jpeace is right when he says my public persona here is very strictly managed. But it is not to make me look good, it is to not bore you that I so carefully select what I write. Because if it bores you, imagine what it is like for me to have to write it, and proof-read it about 3 times.)So when people discuss the little fights or problems or disagreements or hang-over or crying jags, the writers know they are opening themselves up to comments about being exhibitionists. Maybe it can be argued that some of it is, that the writing leaves an aftertaste of trolling for comments or not wanting comments but convey suffering, that validation will only be valued if it is offered in the form of adoration of some kind. I have been there in all forms, I am a vain man with fragile pieces to his ego. I understand wanting comments and not wanting comments in all forms.
But whatever gets said about people who blog their minutiae honestly -- well, not so much minute to minute but more the small troubles and tribulations -- at least they don't leave you wondering as a reader "Man, did I know you at all?" when the Big Event gets announced, "Here you are telling me about the subway lines for months and it turns out that for the same amount of time you were being stalked by a convicted felon?"
But writers should only care about that surprise coming up in their readers if their explicit intention was to let people to get to know them intimately, because the aforementioned question coming up means the writer is not writing effectively. For anyone who is just here to vent or comment on their own lives or write to remember noteworthy things or explore other characters or any other reason people LJ, surprising your readers by not building up to major breaks in your life shouldn't be an issue at all. Just because you post here doesn't mean any reader has a right to know anything about you, including that you are leading what could be termed a double life.
I keep needing to remind myself of that when some denoument happens, that as a reader I have 0 right to feel super surprised or even slightly betrayed. If I feel involved for just reading entries -- not by getting sucked into some months long commenting dialog that looks like an Internet game, that is a whole other level, but just reading entries -- that is my own creation. At most, when the shit hits the fan, I get to be supportive.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 05:22 pm (UTC)And it's safe to assume that anything I did or said after 6pm from 2005-2007 was done or said drunk :-D
no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 06:05 pm (UTC)So, now that you are sober, are you looking at the old work and going "jeeeezus I need to rip this out... who did this, some drunk?"
no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 06:29 pm (UTC)Of course, I have trouble seeing the improvements in anything around me (work, relationships, etc.), but that is probably just another case of twisted perspective - the opinion from outside of me is pretty unanimous that I'm nicer, more present, and just all around more functional.