Note To Self
Must meditate before I go to sleep, visualizing becoming lucid when encountering my mother in a dream. Muts make appearance of mother a trigger. I have to confront her and either work through the anxiety she raises every time she appears, or tell her to go away.
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The evening conversation disintegrated when my mother told us "Snapple doesn't hate gays. Rush Limbaugh doesn't hate gays and Snapple advertises on his program, so Snapple doesn't hate gays either." Jaws dropped like dominos around the table as the last bit of uneaten manicotti seemed to freeze instantly at her lurid oversight.
These days, when mother decides to pay a visit, my friends who have encountered her remind me: "Tell mom I said 'Snapple!'" To which she will always reply; "huh?"
Birth-givers can often be a hassle for their birthee's. It's ok to shovel it back a little bit from time to time.
*bises*
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Ugh, I can't give anything back to mine, she's dead and burned and spread out in the air over the North Sea a year or two now. She just keeps coming back in my dreams when I can least make sense of anything. Last night the story was that she had awoken from a coma, as an explanation for the absence.
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*gavel pound*
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